you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
