But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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