When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
