didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This toilet bowl is my home.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
