Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
