you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
