so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
