So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i drank out of a bidet.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
