the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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