i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
