don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Someone came in the potted fern
so much tequila, so little girl.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
