I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
