What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
there is glitter all over my balls
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
