ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
