Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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