So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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