Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
