I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
