The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
