Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
two words...techno handjob
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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