it wasn't lemon gatorade
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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