You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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