He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
