i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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