we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
