1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize