i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
