we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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