Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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