I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize