I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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