if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
