remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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