high people should be assigned attendants
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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