I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
