i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize