Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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