the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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