I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
