I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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