She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
