He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
