Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize