Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
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He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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