I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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