I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol