Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.