Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This baby is an asshole
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
