You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
