i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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