i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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