i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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