I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.