There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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