pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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