If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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