my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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