No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
