i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
