Already got asked if we're dating
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
