Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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