Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
